Extreme Sports

FETCH-1 (fech) v.t. 1. to go and bring back, return with, get.

FETCH-2 (fech) noun. a game played with dogs to retrieve.

EXTREME (ik strem') -tremer, -tremest. adj. 1. exceeding the bounds of moderation, normalcy. 2. going to the utmost or cvery great lengths in action, habit, etc.

EXTREME FETCH (ik strem' fech) n. 1. any game played with Sam in muddy, wet, or dark conditions. 2. any game played with Sam in which I become extremely uncomfortable, e.g., cold, wet, etc. (see picture)

Really, I Can't Make This S**T Up...

This is my day off...

what a beautiful

California day...
I was happy.
Ilean and Dutchie were happy

+

+

SamDammit was happy

(we were playing after all)

+

+

+

+

even those of the caprine variety

were happy

UNTIL

I show up with the

weapons of mass torture:

Then I round them up.

Corral them all.

You know who...

...the desperate...

...the untamed...

...the pygmy goat...

Now no one is happy...

(especially me)

and suddenly I have no friends...

Except Big.

He's just confused.

But when I tackle him and torture him,

then he's not happy either.

Everything is going well, until...

... there is one, just one, who it turns out is capable of ruining my day...

Meet

 "City Lights Roxy"

isn't she sweet?

Here she is again.  Do you see that discoloration on the dirt?

That's mud from the flood.

What flood?

The flood than ran through this pen:

The flood that occurred when this pipe was broken. 

There's a lot of water pressure in a 1/2" pipe.

And when I went to give Roxy her CDT vaccine

and

she jumped straight up

and

knocked me into the fence

 and

I fell back

 and

hit that pipe

and landed flat on my butt:

all that water shot right down the back of my pants.

Oy. I can't make this sh*t  up.