The Curious Cases of the Slightly Chomped Chewie

Not long ago I brought home a lovely new jar of "chewies" for the canines in my life. Now, most of us know that I have a little ADD/forgetfulness/old age/whothehellknowswhatiswrongwithme; so after handing out a few of these delectable treats, I forgot to screw the lid back on the jar...and this is what I came home to:

THE SCENE OF THE CRIME;
DINING ROOM TABLE
/
\
/
\
/

THE EVIDENCE:
EXHIBIT ONE --
TREAT JAR WITH SEVERAL
SLIGHTLY CHOMPED CHEWIES STREWN ABOUT
/
\
/
\

EXHIBIT TWO:
CLOSE UP OF EXHIBIT 1

AND THE USUAL SUSPECTS:

#1 LUKE.

KNOWN JUVENILE DELINQUENT,

CHARGED WITH BREAKING AND EXITING PASTURE;

HAS RECORD WITH ANIMAL CONTROL

DEFENSE -

VEGETARIAN. HEAD WON'T FIT IN CHEWIE JAR

#2

AIMLESS, FECKLESS, POINTLESS, GRACELESS -

DEFENSE:

CLAIM TO NOT KNOW WHERE THE DINING ROOM IS.

FOUR WAY ALIBI

#3
SAMDAMMIT
KNOWN REPROBATE.
HAS DESTROYED SHOES,
CLOTHING, AND ONE COUCH.
DEFENSE:
WOULD HAVE EATEN ALL THE CHEWIES
THEN CHEWED THE CONTAINER TO SMITHEREENS.

#4

CLEO.

KNOWN RINGLEADER OF THE INFAMOUS "PYGMY GANG"

HAS PRIOR BREAKING AND ENTERING DINING ROOM

DEFENSE:

VEGETARIAN. WOULD HAVE RAIDED CUPBOARD FOR GRAHAM CRACKERS INSTEAD.

AND FINAL SUSPECT
/
\
/
\

NORMAN
aka MR. McNASTY
HEAD AND ARMS WILL FIT INSIDE CHEWIE JAR
DEFENSE: IN 14 YEARS, HAS SHOW NO INTEREST IN DETECTIVE WORK
OTHER THAN TRYING OCCASIONALLY TRYING TO FIND HIS DINNER DISH

And there we have it, Esteemed Readers. It's a mystery. What's your guess?

Hmmm

The other day I was thinking.  I am subject to bursts of random thoughts - often nonsensical, but entertaining (at least to me).  So this particular day, I was thinking about my animals and got to wondering:  If I were to pick real-life celebrities who would best embody the spirit and personalities of my animals, I wonder who I'd pick for which animals...

 I kind of have to start with Cleo, herd queen extraordinaire:

and I'm going with Queen Latifah. 
Cleo does not let her size hold her back, preferring to think of herself as "statuesque."   Cleo is a permanent grand champion doe, winning her first grand at the age of 5 and finishing as a 7 year-old. 

Cleo may have lost her girlish figure, but she still sense of humor.  

 And she never seems to tire of enthusiastic applause.

In fact, she sometimes come looking for it.

  Cleo definitely deserves to be considered a queen.

*Tomorrow's blog -- Patsy is definitely Shirley Temple...

When Pygs Fly

 

**********the end************

The Four Seasons of SoCal

Sure I live in San Diego, but do you really think we get 365 days a year of warm, sunny weather? *snort*  Well, we don't.  I will now share with you a photojournalist piece of mine  entitled:

 "California Weather Extremes and Its Effect On Barn Chore Footwear"

~*~*~*  SPRING ~*~*~*

~*~*~*  SUMMER  ~*~*~*





~*~*~*  AUTUMN ~*~*~*

and finally...

~*~*~*  WINTER ~*~*~*

Really, I Can't Make This S**T Up...

This is my day off...

what a beautiful

California day...
I was happy.
Ilean and Dutchie were happy

+

+

SamDammit was happy

(we were playing after all)

+

+

+

+

even those of the caprine variety

were happy

UNTIL

I show up with the

weapons of mass torture:

Then I round them up.

Corral them all.

You know who...

...the desperate...

...the untamed...

...the pygmy goat...

Now no one is happy...

(especially me)

and suddenly I have no friends...

Except Big.

He's just confused.

But when I tackle him and torture him,

then he's not happy either.

Everything is going well, until...

... there is one, just one, who it turns out is capable of ruining my day...

Meet

 "City Lights Roxy"

isn't she sweet?

Here she is again.  Do you see that discoloration on the dirt?

That's mud from the flood.

What flood?

The flood than ran through this pen:

The flood that occurred when this pipe was broken. 

There's a lot of water pressure in a 1/2" pipe.

And when I went to give Roxy her CDT vaccine

and

she jumped straight up

and

knocked me into the fence

 and

I fell back

 and

hit that pipe

and landed flat on my butt:

all that water shot right down the back of my pants.

Oy. I can't make this sh*t  up.

I Promise

Boy, I just have not been in the mood or had the time to blog lately.  But I promise I have some in the works:

1. I Can't Make This S**T Up
2. Extreme Fetch
3. (Goats) Breaking Bad
4. Woman Makes Scientific History on March 1, When She Actually Becomes Younger than Her Son.

Film At 11.

A Mysterious Blight Strikes La Mesa Vegetation

An unfortunate blight seems to striking our landscaping lately, especially around the pool area.  I think this is in direct relation to leaving a gate to the downstairs open.  I've been leaving it open because the Weiner has been feeling pretty perky lately and likes to go vermin hunting down the hill.  And everyone knows that in the rare instances that an Interior-Dwelling Domestic Weiner ventures outside, the Weiner immediately goes deaf and will not respond to any voice commands.  This same Weiner will then sit at the gate later and bark, woof, HOWL-YIP-SCREECH until he has been let in again...

Now there also has been evidence of intruders...

which has resulted in an unfortunate and
highly destructive case of

CAPRINITIS VULGARIS

this inisidous disease attacks most vegetation from the ground up.
Please note how bare the bottom of this rose bush is:

here's another
plant that's suffering from

CAPRINITIS VULGARIS

look at the ragged effect of this blight on the leaves below...

 a closer examination reveals.... are those... could those be...no....

little caprine teeth marks??