Last weekend was the pygmy goat show at Del Mar Fair (I know it has been renamed the San Diego Fair around a decade ago, but it's still Del Mar Fair to me. I also still shop at Price Club). The usual suspects were in attendance, plus the World's Oldest 4Hers (that's us). Donna, Teri, Dorian, Dee, and I are about the only adults that still show despite the fact our kids are no longer in 4H (and mine never was).
The pygmy goat world is not as large as you would think (there's a shocker), so we know almost everyone in SoCal who shows. It's always fun to see old friends, have a chance to catch up, and discuss -- what else? -- our goats!
The pygmy goat world is not as large as you would think (there's a shocker), so we know almost everyone in SoCal who shows. It's always fun to see old friends, have a chance to catch up, and discuss -- what else? -- our goats!
But today, I am here to inform the world (actually my 2 faithful followers) that goat shows are not for sissies. It's a lot of work. And don't forget that we SoCal ladies are hardly youngsters. It's been a few years since we were carded at the beer garden. I am proud of the how hard we've all worked at perfecting our show technique. For instance.....
Last year at the Orange County Fair -- although we were unable to document this on film -- Donna debuted her new movement, the "sciati-crawl." It's beautiful in its simplicity. You spend prep day lying flat on your back on a hay bale with excruciating sciatica pain, then hobble around the arena on show day impersonating Quasimodo. It might sound simple, but you really have to see Donna in action to appreciate its beauty.
*
*
*
Anyway, to start off our average day of showing, we like to meet in a pen near the arena and go over our day's strategy.
We usually start by trying to talk all at the same time...
We usually start by trying to talk all at the same time...
...move on to actually discussing our strategy....
... finalize our plans...
and we're ready.
Just look at our evil grins...
*
*
*
We're ready for the competition!
As Dorian and I do a warmup goat drag....
...Donna and Carey do some hamstring stretches
and some toe-touchs.
Meanwhile, Teri demonstrates the classic goat show position,
the "squat-and-hold-til-you-get-a-charley-horse." This is
the favored show technique, although Teri has
lost a few points by resting her
aching knee on the ground....
the favored show technique, although Teri has
lost a few points by resting her
aching knee on the ground....
*
*
*
After our warm-ups, we finally begin the competition with the Junior Doe Scream-and-Drag.
Points are awarded for the farthest distance
our goat can be drug without it ever picking up its feet.
The object is to lay down "elevens": two paralell evenly-spaced drag marks. Bonus points are awarded for any doe who squalls or screams nonstop during this class.
You will note that Dorian's goat is in a classic drag stance, wherein she plants all four feet seeking a picture-perfect drag. My doe, unfortunately, appears to be dropping to her knees, which can lower her score considerably.
The object is to lay down "elevens": two paralell evenly-spaced drag marks. Bonus points are awarded for any doe who squalls or screams nonstop during this class.
You will note that Dorian's goat is in a classic drag stance, wherein she plants all four feet seeking a picture-perfect drag. My doe, unfortunately, appears to be dropping to her knees, which can lower her score considerably.
After the dragging portion of the class,
we continue our workout with some deep knee bends and
then continue on to the final event known as
"I think my goat is standing on a hundred dollar bill."
You can see, by the contestants' constant and close
examination of their goats' feet, that we really...
... do believe....
...our goats are, in fact, standing....
...on something very valuable...
and the winner is:
Roland Elkins, who has not lifted his eyes off the ground since entering the ring....
(to be continued)
No comments:
Post a Comment