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Thursday, December 30, 2010

Who Let the Goats out? Who?! WHO?!

Now each of my goats have -- believe it or not -- pretty distinct voices.  I certainly can't tell them all apart, but:
  • Cleo sounds like "Bap-bap-bap"
  • Texy says, "Ba-ah-hah-ap."
  • Harry is a "Maa" -er
  • Kiss sounds like "Buhaaapppp"
  • Cheater says in a very small voice  "b-b-baa"
  • Cherish, Molly, Glory rarely say anything at all.
  • and BIG, being the only buck on the property now, says in his new, very big boy voice : "BAHH-T, BAHH-T"
So yesterday I heard: "BAHH-T!!! BAHH-T!!!  BAHH-T!!!"
and I knew it was Big ---

--- and something was amiss.
Because Big is the only buck on the property, he's in a pen with one doe while the herd runs amok free.
I knew he was yelling because, most likely, the rest of the herd had wandered out of sight.

So I looked out the window and saw this:


an apparent breaching of the back yard. And as soon as I hollered at them, they all dashed around the pool....

where Cleo was trying to camouflage herself in the rock fountain. (often pygmy goats in the wild will camouflage themselves near suburban pools.)


But it was too late.  Her fellow scofflaws gathered around and threw her under the bus.


Once busted, they agreed to remove themselves in an orderly fashion.  Sure there was a little pushing and shoving and they hit a small bottleneck. (No pygmy seems to realize that just because their head will fit through an opening, it doesn't mean their less-than-svelte bodies will.)

and here they come...

a few fell out of the ranks,

but they safely landed. And no one was talking.  No one would admit a thing.

Who, Us?

Sunday, December 19, 2010

'Tis the Season

I was in Trader Joe's this evening, and amidst all the hustle and bustle of holiday shoppers, there was a woman wearing a 1950's era coat like this:


Except her coat was green and beneath it, she wore a very red dress.  Accessories included vintage Christmas earrings, some sort of a wreath corsage, and a generous application of vivid red lipstick.


So right there in the cheese aisle of Trader Joe's, I went over to her and said,
"My, you look so pretty today.  You are so festive! You must be going to a party."
Then, her husband -- who was probably a head shorter than her and dressed just as nattily -- came over..

"Oh no," he said. "We've just come from a dance."
"We try to dance two or three times a week," added the wife.
"Well," said the husband, "We are in our 80s." 


It IS a wonderful life!






Saturday, December 18, 2010

Overheard in Ithaca

"No, we never split up, never got divorced. It was because neither of us wanted the kids. He didn't want them, I didn't want them, so we had to stay together." 

(made me giggle. mothing more. nothing less)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

All I want for Christmas...

Now that we have conquered the first event in the Holiday Season Eating Marathon, it's time to start thinking about MY Christmas list.  I'm afraid there may be some of you who have not decided on an appropriate gift for ME, so I'm really giving MY wish list some serious thought...

Of course, first I have to ask for the impossible:  For Christmas I want all the bad in the world to go away.  No more war, famine, violence, disease, cruelty, prejudice...

Since that may not be practical, how about probably-impossible-but-more-possible-than-the-former?  Let's see: My own little tractor? Being 10 lbs thinner, painlessly? A new wardrobe? A personal chef? A clean car? A clean house? How about a self-cleaning house and car? 

Okay, well some of those items may be a little rough to wrap and put under the tree.  Oh, I know!  For those of you who have been stumped in determiing the perfect gift for me, all I really want is....................

......a car-washing, organic-gardening, laundry-loving, gourmet-cooking, extremely tidy, always cheerful...........

HOUSE ELF!