A Mysterious Blight Strikes La Mesa Vegetation

An unfortunate blight seems to striking our landscaping lately, especially around the pool area.  I think this is in direct relation to leaving a gate to the downstairs open.  I've been leaving it open because the Weiner has been feeling pretty perky lately and likes to go vermin hunting down the hill.  And everyone knows that in the rare instances that an Interior-Dwelling Domestic Weiner ventures outside, the Weiner immediately goes deaf and will not respond to any voice commands.  This same Weiner will then sit at the gate later and bark, woof, HOWL-YIP-SCREECH until he has been let in again...

Now there also has been evidence of intruders...

which has resulted in an unfortunate and
highly destructive case of

CAPRINITIS VULGARIS

this inisidous disease attacks most vegetation from the ground up.
Please note how bare the bottom of this rose bush is:

here's another
plant that's suffering from

CAPRINITIS VULGARIS

look at the ragged effect of this blight on the leaves below...

 a closer examination reveals.... are those... could those be...no....

little caprine teeth marks??

A Modern Day Mystery

The oddest thing happened today.  I took a book and went out on our deck to enjoy the sun and read.  Much to my surprise, our Domestic, Interior-Dwelling Weiner joined me.   Not only did he join me on the deck, he went down the steps and BEYOND.

And he did not come back.

SO I went to look for him....and I could see ... down the hill ... a tail ...

... so when I investigated further...

...I saw this...

and this.....

...which turned out to be  this...

....then a closer inspection revealed this....

...and, yes, this....

'nuf said.

A Rare Sighting of an Endangered Species.

There is a little-known animal skulking the La Mesa area.  Not too many people have ever seen it, because it rarely goes outside.  Here's a rather grainy photo of a recent sighting...

and a slightly closer view as we sneak up on the elusive animal....

Because it's difficult to make the above photos, we were lucky enough to get a slightly closer view:

These photos are, in fact, some of the few known substantiated photos of the Domestic Interior-Dwelling Weiner, which is also known as the "asblik plukker" (Afrikaans) or the "selector de basura" (Spanish). Here in the US, the slang name for this dog is a "parlor pooper," due mostly to the difficulty in housebreaking these dogs and the common occurrence of finding, well, poop in in the parlor.

These dogs are thought to be descendants of the Dachshund, but are probably not closely related as this particular dog abhors cold or inclement weather and remains indoors for long periods of time. (which may explain the poop in the parlor)

We do believe that one of the founding sires of this breed was a dog by the name of "Gaw-Da-Mitt," because so many of these dogs have that as a first name.  (as in "Gaw-Da-Mitt Ozzie," our own Domestic Interior-Dwelling Weiner)

Below are some photos of the DID Weiner in its natural habitat:

As depicted below, these dogs are quite often ambidextrous...

and spend much of their time in a horizontal position....

These animals are also amazing singers.....

While these dogs are known to be docile, gentle animals...

...one should never forget that these Weiners are predators...

...and once they sight their prey...

...they attack viciously...

...using both teeth and paws...

...they are known to recruit help...

...and they blindly attack...

...over and over...

...snapping, snarling...

until nothing is left but the tattered remains

The Hurrieder I Go, the Behinder I Get.

I am late nearly everywhere I go.  Not hours late (usually), but often somewhat late.  My mind seems to come up with some sort of mathematical formula regarding how late I can be.  I can be three minutes late to work.  I can be an hour or two late to watch Jess ride at a horse show (shows last ALL day long for three days).   Dinner invitation, fifteen minutes; party, thirty minutes to an hour.

I'm not saying there is any justification to my tardiness, just  stating how my brain seems to work.  I think my inability to be timely stems from two things: (1) my complete lack of ability to entertain myself, so I HATE being anywhere too early and having to WAIT.  (2) My inability to accurately gauge the amount of time it takes to do things.

In order to get to work on time, I need to leave at nine-thirty-five.  Nine-thirty-three is too early; nine-thirty-eight is suddenly too close to nine-forty and that is too late.  In my mind, if I need to leave at nine-thirty-five, I start towards the car at nine-thirty-four.  It can't take more than a minute to get in the car and turn it on, can it?

So this morning at nine-thirty, I did a final check on the animals and started toward the car.   I hollered at the dogs, grabbed my purse and my keys, and went out front.