"Hi Guys -- I just wanted to take a minute to thank you for remembering my birthday with such goodies! I will enjoy the olives and giggled at the card... but because we have been friends for so long, I feel I can be honest with you and let you know that I was a bit disappointed in the other part of the gift: the Birria. I know you meant well, but, frankly the gift was a bit of a let down....
I read the Birria package and it says, "This special combination (of spices) will create (an) UNFORGETTABLE goat." You can imagine my excitement!
So according to the directions, I mixed "this blend with cooking oil and generously coat(ed) the (goat) and let it marinade overnight." In fact, I've let it marinate for TWO nights.
And I am sorry to report, at this time, that my goats remain not only forgettable, but rather smelly and annoyed..."
and Mike's repsonse
(How did I know it was Mike and not Katy?
Because there's only one S in "focusing")
Dear Denise,
We received your news, first with confusion, and then, increasingly baffled and slightly alarmed, we contacted the manufacturers and demanded a full and complete explanation.
The manager in Guadalajara took a liking to me and explained that they had had certain issues with various suppliers which had been compounded by cultural incompatibilities, language barriers, and training exigencies. The spice blenders in Shanghai, understandably focussing on issues of potency (as, alas, they inevitably do), had problems with their usual Kenyan herbal sources, and in their efforts to meet the exact Mexican specifications they may have resorted to making certain substitutions, using more commonly available substances which they learned of on their email spam lists.
These details regarding the exact product formulation were further compounded by the marketing department in Delhi who wrote the directions for use, originally in Hindi, and it seems that THEY were not only strict vegetarians, but had interpreted the phrase "You will LOVE this goat" in, shall we say, a somewhat unusual (and possibly felonious) manner, at least in many of our fine Southern states.
To make a long story short, nobody can guarantee that this last batch of product will make your goats "unforgettable". However there is a small risk of enhanced activities in the goat enclosure, and subsequent demands, by the goats, for more of the product.
We feel badly for this mixup: Please accept our sincere apologies.
PS: We were advised that you should, under NO circumstances, put some of the spice on your husbands clothing and then ask him to feed the goats.
(aren't friends grand?)
No comments:
Post a Comment