Not long ago I brought home a lovely new jar of "chewies" for the canines in my life. Now, most of us know that I have a little ADD/forgetfulness/old age/whothehellknowswhatiswrongwithme; so after handing out a few of these delectable treats, I forgot to screw the lid back on the jar...and this is what I came home to:
THE SCENE OF THE CRIME;
DINING ROOM TABLE
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THE EVIDENCE:
EXHIBIT ONE --
TREAT JAR WITH SEVERAL
SLIGHTLY CHOMPED CHEWIES STREWN ABOUT
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EXHIBIT TWO:
CLOSE UP OF EXHIBIT 1
AND THE USUAL SUSPECTS:
#1 LUKE.
KNOWN JUVENILE DELINQUENT,
CHARGED WITH BREAKING AND EXITING PASTURE;
HAS RECORD WITH ANIMAL CONTROL
DEFENSE -
VEGETARIAN. HEAD WON'T FIT IN CHEWIE JAR
#2
AIMLESS, FECKLESS, POINTLESS, GRACELESS -
DEFENSE:
CLAIM TO NOT KNOW WHERE THE DINING ROOM IS.
FOUR WAY ALIBI
#3
SAMDAMMIT
KNOWN REPROBATE.
HAS DESTROYED SHOES,
CLOTHING, AND ONE COUCH.
DEFENSE:
WOULD HAVE EATEN ALL THE CHEWIES
THEN CHEWED THE CONTAINER TO SMITHEREENS.
#4
CLEO.
KNOWN RINGLEADER OF THE INFAMOUS "PYGMY GANG"
HAS PRIOR BREAKING AND ENTERING DINING ROOM
DEFENSE:
VEGETARIAN. WOULD HAVE RAIDED CUPBOARD FOR GRAHAM CRACKERS INSTEAD.
AND FINAL SUSPECT
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NORMAN
aka MR. McNASTY
HEAD AND ARMS WILL FIT INSIDE CHEWIE JAR
DEFENSE: IN 14 YEARS, HAS SHOW NO INTEREST IN DETECTIVE WORK
OTHER THAN TRYING OCCASIONALLY TRYING TO FIND HIS DINNER DISH
And there we have it, Esteemed Readers. It's a mystery. What's your guess?
The Butler did it!
ReplyDelete;)
Thanks for starting my New Year with a Laugh Out Loud!
*hugs*
and Happy New Year!
~Mimi
The Goat Borrower
Hang on...what's with that not-so-innocent looking dachshund in the first and last pictures? Hmmm? Howcome he/she didn't make it to the list? I rule out the horse, he would have got his nose stuck in that jar and still be wearing it. Apparently the stick-shaped ones don't taste as good since they got left on the table. I'm thinking the dachshund has a tale (tail?) to tell...
ReplyDeleteWhat Ho! Marigold Holmes here, and the ever-faithful, albeit altitudinally-challenged, Watson. This is an open and shut case. Clearly your husband has been suffering from a lack in the dinner department (or thinks he has) and, in the clutches of hunger, pried open the jar and decided to have at a few. That is why only the round ones seem to be missing, with the cylindrical ones tossed aside. The round ones look more like *Scoops* tortilla chips. The cylindrical ones obviously elicit too much 'familiarity', if you will, for the male mind to handle, and thus would be unlikely candidates.
ReplyDeleteClaire, usually the Weiner is the Number 1 suspect, but he is awfully short to scale the table without help... oh my it could be a conspiracy!!!
ReplyDeleteHowever, our own dear Marigold Holmes may be on the right track, not that I think of it. We all know I don't cook -- I used my cast iron skillets yesterday to weigh down some wood I was gluing -- perhaps it WAS my husband. He did eat the dog food off the stove one night. But that's another story!
I must say-SamDammit looks innocent in this one...you must be right about him-everything would have been annihilated...Must have been the horse, or the cat---probably the latter. They always think they can get some OTHER animal in trouble and still look squeaky clcean!
ReplyDelete