The Zip Line Personality Test.

I have two lovely children.

 Larry is my firstborn -- isn't he gorgeous?

and here's Jess -- isn't she a stunner?

(That's Manny, who's been Jess's best buddy since 3rd grade, on the right.  He was not her date that night...hmm why not, Manny?)

So aren't my children lovely?  Do you think if I described them you could figure out which one I was talking about by their pictures alone?

 We'll give it a try.  I'm going to give the following clues regarding Child "A" and Child "B".  Both of my kids were perfect babies, but ----

"A" was never able to entertain his/herself (unfortunately), and usually found some way of getting into trouble if left alone.

"B" was able to spend hours playing with toys and puzzles quietly.

"A" never cared what he/she looked like before going out to school.

"B" was meticulous in his/her grooming, and spent time each morning from 3rd grade on doing his/her hair.

"A" struggled through school, never turning in assignments or studying for tests.

"B" was an honor student. 

"A" once drove to school barefoot, only to find there were no shoes in the car and had to drive home.

"B" doesn't go outside without shoes.

"A" can't find his/her toothbrush.

"B" has never had a cavity and actually likes the floss Santa put in the Xmas stocking.

"A" is a bit of a dare devil who does wildly impetuous things.

"B" would go skydiving, but only after consideration and planning.

Okay, so look at those pictures again.  Who is child A and who is Child B?  What if I were to tell you that I have devised a personality test that is guaranteed to show a child's real personality.  It's the new ZIPLINE TEST.  Look at the following photos and see by the way my two kids tackle the Becker's zipline you can determine their personalities.....

Why You Should Pay Attention to Your Parent's Boring Stories... or "Lima, It's More than Just a Bean."

My mom always told us stories of her family and her life "way back when."  Some of them I paid attention to, some not so much.  Anyway her family was from Lima, Ohio, originally; then they moved to Condee, S.D., to farm.  She was born there.  Her dad was Edgar Cyrus Holmes and her mom was Zitella "Stella" Holmes, nee Jacobs.  Stella and her younger brother were orphaned and taken in by a family that Stella was working for, so Mom didn't know if Jacobs was her original name or if she took the name of the adoptive family.

So Mom told this story about Stella's grandfather....I think. (this is where should realize where my title comes from!)  Or it might have been a great-uncle.  I can't remember.  Anyway as the story goes, this man murdered his wife and was hung for it in Lima, Ohio.  According to Mom, he was the first man hung in Lima and the rope used to hang him is in a museum there.

Lo and behold, I had a judging assignment last spring in Wapakoneta, OH, and stayed in Lima.  Talk about fate.  Well, I had some time to check out the town a little, and there is no rope hanging in a museum.  I drove through the town and it is a lovely little Midwestern town, with lots of trees and sweet houses.  But no sign of a rope used to hang my great-grandfather.  But back at the hotel, I found a travel guide talking about the first public execution in all of Ohio, and it was in Allen County; in fact, it was in Lima!

The Usual Suspects -- The Family

Cast of Characters... and there are some real characters, trust me.
Family:
IN A STARRING ROLE:
Me
SUPPORTING ACTORS:
Allan - husband of 11 yrs, been together much longer, he's a health freak, obsessive-compulsive work-aholic, who has put up with my BS and has worked to have a good relationship with Jessica. Allan is a member of the Genetic Police.
Larry - son, OMG nearly 33. Still trying to figure out his path in life -- I don't think he realizes that some of us can't see the path until we've traveled down it already. He also probably doesn't know that I am incredibly proud of him and what he has accomplished. He's the first Fraser to actually get a college degree and went on to get his Masters. He certainly didn't have the best guidance with all of that when he was growing up -- but, I'd never been to college. What did I know?
Jessica - daughter, 19, freshman at Rutgers -- a rocky senior year of high school and one year at community college. Incredible rider and a take-no-prisoners kind of girl, Jess, too, had a rocky upbringing as the product of a nasty divorce, but of all the people I know, Jess is a survivor.
Diane - my sister -- 3 yrs older. She's got custody of Dad. I had Mom. Diane's still ahead of the game.
Dad - 86, a little wifty -- a lot wifty. Still wants to drive despite his forgetfulness, bad knees, etc.
Tab -- Allan's Mom. She and her husband, Robert, lived next door to my parents in Atlantic City for years. They now live on the next block over in an incredible house facing the Boardwalk and the ocean. I never get tired of going there. Tab is probably the best cook I've ever known and makes one hell of a bed.
Robert See above. Allan's stepfather, an atty, a power player in DC, and now retired.