A Mother's Day Letter to my Children on Memorial Day.

Well, it's mother's day and I'm thinking of my children and why I like them. It's so much easier to remember what they've done wrong and when they tick me off, but I am grateful that I got the ones I did and here's why (see disclaimer below)

1. Jess - for riding to the airport for a once-in-a-lifetime vacation to Europe with a trash bag full of hay balanced on her head because it wouldn't fit otherwise with all the luggage. In my defense, I was trying to fit three Watlingtons, Jess, all their luggage into the Trailblazer, and dropping them to the airport on my way to show my goats at the fair. I didn't have time to double back; and really does anyone need to take both a travel guitar AND a banjo to Europe (Tom!)
2. Both - for coming over and riding the Becker's backyard zip line with me last summer. It just proves we're never too old.
3. Larry - for leaving on his birthday several years ago to fly to NJ to take care of Grandma when Grandpa was suddenly hospitalized. (and to Matt for staying with Mom and Dad til Larry got there)
4. For the following conversation:  "Jess!  Come here.  I need help shoving the bookcase out the window!"  "Wh-what?"  "I said, Come here.  I need help pushing the bookcase out the window." -- moment of silence --  "Let me get my shoes on."
5. Larry - for sitting with me after I had my mastectomy while I slept most of the day. I may not have acted like it (I was asleep), but I knew you were there and I appreciated it.
6. Larry - for still letting me use power tools around him even after I nearly went through his knuckle with the drill.
7. Jess - for being a make-it-happen type of girl. From finding jobs to parking at the airport and catching a flight to Tucson for a horseshow -- she never breaks a sweat -- or fakes it really well.
8. Larry - for having a rabbit.  I mean, c'mon.  How many young single guys do you know who rescue a pet (much less a rabbit) and still have it 5 years later?

And the Number One reason I like my kids:

For going hotair ballooning with me when Jess gets home in a couple of weeks!  Yeah!  (I may have failed to tell them I have already bought the tickets) 

But Happy Mother's Day to Me!

disclaimer: the above list was fashioned in no particular order, showing neither favoritism nor preference for either one or both children.  love you guys!  Mom

A Letter to My Daughter on Her Birthday... well, 19 Days after Her Birthday

Dear Jessica,

You recently turned 20. I wanted to do some sort of a -- I don't know -- photographic history of your first 20 years. And I wanted to tell you how I am so proud of you.  And how much I love you.  And how I would do anything for you.  And how I know I am not a perfect mother, but I have tried to be a good mom.  Then, as I went through the old pictures, I found some pics that really just summed up you.



Do you see that picture above?  Look, I'm pregnant.  That's you hiding under that pink tent.  That's probably about the last time I ever really had control over you....

 ...now look at the pictures below... that face...that face...

That is the face of a girl who ripped off her shirt and threw it into the giraffe enclosure at the Animal Park because she didn't like the shirt (damn you were quick).  That is the face of a someone who came running to me crying that she had cut her finger -- trying to shave the dog's tale with my razor.  That is the face of someone who never believed in "no." That is the face of YOU.

(Didn't I ever tell you not to make that face; that it could freeze that way?)

The next group of pictures called to me as well.

Once again, I have tried to be the best mother I can,

and I know I have made mistakes,

but some things you just can't hold me responsible for:

you have a certain style, Jessica, you certainly do.

Love, Mom

(ps don't make fun of your sister, Larry.  I have many, many more photo albums)

Lima ... the rest of the story

Well, I accidentally hit the publish button on the previous Lima post instead of the save button.  So, in fact, I'm guessing it wasn't all that interesting after all.  But here's the rest of the story...

Remember that I was Ohio judging when I decided to investigate the story that my mom told us numerous times about my great-grandfather being hung for murdering his wife.  I had just found out that while there was no museum or a rope as Mom claimed; Lima had indeed been the site of the first public execution in that state and the convicted man was hung for murdering his wife.  Well, that piqued my interest, so I came home to San Diego and did some Internet research (of course).
Look what I found:


File contributed for use in USGenWeb Archives by:
Judy Woerner judyw0113@yahoo.com May 7, 2006, 4:50 pm

Lima News January 29, 1928
ROPE IN SHERIFF’S OFFICE IS REMINDER OF ALLEN-CO HANGING
Lima News, January 29, 1928
Excerpts from the article:


"For more than five decades a piece of rope has hung in the office of the Allen-
co Sheriff. It is part of the rope that was used to hang ANDREW BRENTLINGER
on Friday, April 7, 1872. He was the only man ever executed in Lima.
BRENTLINGER, a resident of Shawnee-tp, stabbed his second wife, Sarah, to
death on October 24, 1871 and dug and buried her in a grave a short distance
from their home.
After his children gave the alarm, the murderer was found and although he had
swallowed poison, medical assistance saved his life.
A trial was held before Judge Mackenzie. BRENTLINGER was found to be guilty
and sentenced to be hanged January 20, 1872, however, the governor, RUTHERFORD
B. HAYES, granted a reprieve of 100 days.
Two days before the hanging, the BRENTLINGER children and grandchildren called at the jail. His aged father and his brothers did not visit him. His attorneys, ISAIAH S. PILLARS and C. M. HUGHES, visited him the following day. With them was T. E. CUNNINGHAM, who had assisted in the prosecution.
The night before the hanging the prisoner could hear the talk of a threatened mob. Fifty men were assembled to guard the jail. The prisoner arose early on the morning of the execution and ate a hearty breakfast. A Lutheran minister, Rev. BARTHOLOWMEW visited and offered prayer and readings from the Bible. The condemned man acted unconcerned through it all.
On the day of the hanging Sheriff COLBRATH led the prisoner to the scaffold. It was erected in the corridor of the jail and BRENTLINGER stepped from the landing of the stairway onto the death trap. Spectators remained on the main floor. The sheriff read the death warrant and the condemned man was asked to make a final statement, but he remained stoically silent. The black cap was adjusted while Rev. BARTHOLOMEW chanted the hymn “Eternity Is Waiting.” The trap was sprung and the scaffold disappeared from under the man. After BRENTLINGER’S body was prepared for burial, his bier was placed on the street where everyone could see him."

Mom talked of this story many, many times as I was growing up; but she didn't supply any true particulars and didn't even know her own mother's true last name.  Mom died of complications of Alzheimer's in 2005, so we'll never really know what the true story is. But it certainly leaves a question in my mind... how about yours?

Why You Should Pay Attention to Your Parent's Boring Stories... or "Lima, It's More than Just a Bean."

My mom always told us stories of her family and her life "way back when."  Some of them I paid attention to, some not so much.  Anyway her family was from Lima, Ohio, originally; then they moved to Condee, S.D., to farm.  She was born there.  Her dad was Edgar Cyrus Holmes and her mom was Zitella "Stella" Holmes, nee Jacobs.  Stella and her younger brother were orphaned and taken in by a family that Stella was working for, so Mom didn't know if Jacobs was her original name or if she took the name of the adoptive family.

So Mom told this story about Stella's grandfather....I think. (this is where should realize where my title comes from!)  Or it might have been a great-uncle.  I can't remember.  Anyway as the story goes, this man murdered his wife and was hung for it in Lima, Ohio.  According to Mom, he was the first man hung in Lima and the rope used to hang him is in a museum there.

Lo and behold, I had a judging assignment last spring in Wapakoneta, OH, and stayed in Lima.  Talk about fate.  Well, I had some time to check out the town a little, and there is no rope hanging in a museum.  I drove through the town and it is a lovely little Midwestern town, with lots of trees and sweet houses.  But no sign of a rope used to hang my great-grandfather.  But back at the hotel, I found a travel guide talking about the first public execution in all of Ohio, and it was in Allen County; in fact, it was in Lima!

Happy Anniversary, Generalissimo!

In our typical fashion, we Frasers don't like to jump the gun.  We -- at least, me -- tend to leave things to the last minute. We have, in fact, been accused of procrastinating. (Check out my previous post for clarification, if necessary.)

So without further ado...five years after the fact...even though I meant to...but just never got around to it,
Congratulations, Larry!

The Usual Suspects -- The Family

Cast of Characters... and there are some real characters, trust me.
Family:
IN A STARRING ROLE:
Me
SUPPORTING ACTORS:
Allan - husband of 11 yrs, been together much longer, he's a health freak, obsessive-compulsive work-aholic, who has put up with my BS and has worked to have a good relationship with Jessica. Allan is a member of the Genetic Police.
Larry - son, OMG nearly 33. Still trying to figure out his path in life -- I don't think he realizes that some of us can't see the path until we've traveled down it already. He also probably doesn't know that I am incredibly proud of him and what he has accomplished. He's the first Fraser to actually get a college degree and went on to get his Masters. He certainly didn't have the best guidance with all of that when he was growing up -- but, I'd never been to college. What did I know?
Jessica - daughter, 19, freshman at Rutgers -- a rocky senior year of high school and one year at community college. Incredible rider and a take-no-prisoners kind of girl, Jess, too, had a rocky upbringing as the product of a nasty divorce, but of all the people I know, Jess is a survivor.
Diane - my sister -- 3 yrs older. She's got custody of Dad. I had Mom. Diane's still ahead of the game.
Dad - 86, a little wifty -- a lot wifty. Still wants to drive despite his forgetfulness, bad knees, etc.
Tab -- Allan's Mom. She and her husband, Robert, lived next door to my parents in Atlantic City for years. They now live on the next block over in an incredible house facing the Boardwalk and the ocean. I never get tired of going there. Tab is probably the best cook I've ever known and makes one hell of a bed.
Robert See above. Allan's stepfather, an atty, a power player in DC, and now retired.